A BROKEN WOMAN IS DIFFICULT TO LOVE
from: http://adoripoetry.wordpress.com/
Writing, to me, is like stripping naked on the highway and hoping someone will whistle at your round thighs (well dimply brown ones in my case) and youthful body. You bare your soul on a piece of paper that really didn’t know what you had coming until ink filled with emotions came dripping onto it. . .Just like the tears shed in truth and lies.
Truth is a funny thing you know. Often we think we want everyone to be honest with us, tell us the truth ALL THE TIME, bare their souls every waking moment of their lives. And God forbid they leave out a detail or two, ALL HELL shall break lose and the warm feeling love gives you will turn into a burning feeling of bubbling magma rising from your toes up straight to your heart.
Lies. . . oh, the beginning of the end. Ever felt so angry you could feel your own heart pumping within its nest? You know. . like you could hear it beat; angrily pumping pure vile into your veins, your voice even trembled as your spoke, the right words came at the wrong time and the wrong ones just couldn’t stop rumbling out at that time? Pure poison. . Anger of that magnitude is pure poison. It poisons your heart, your head and your life.
So today I felt like I was around a situation that aroused lies. Women have a powerful 6th sense (no ladies, partial insanity when you leave 25 missed calls and 5 abusive texts doesn’t count when you feel insecure). I must admit, I have gone the whole 9 yards when it comes to insanity (but I’d rather call my case immaturity coupled with a severe case of insecurity). Ever since I managed to walk away from a situation that provoked only negativity when the word “Trust” was mentioned I spent a while being my own private eye.
Let me explain, to all the women out there who have ever snooped (and don’t pretend you all have never glanced or went the whole 19 yards and saved numbers of suspicious names like “Girl from Skylux” or “Florida” or “Big Ass”) whenever we went searching, we always found something! Often we become those “women” we bitch about even without realizing. And you know what. . . it all began with that ONE (or one too many) lies (and TRUTHS).
Anyway, two things I have observed is that a woman is not broken easily and that very rarely do relationships end over infidelity.
Infidelity is such a touchy subject. Whether emotionally or physically we may have delved into those quagmire of haves and have-nots and halves. Yes cheating sometimes can be so innocent we almost believe we are justified and it can be so betraying that the pain of leaving seams worse than staying with the stray (the partner that snuck their hand in the forbidden cookie jar). But many times, despite the infidelity that may be uncovered or strongly suspected we stay. Why?
Now, onto the woman’s strength – I am not going to preach like a civil rights leader trying to get some Act approved. No I will not. But a woman’s strength is something to write home about. A woman is nature’s reflection of God. She will satisfy her man in more ways than she knew how, she will protect her man like she will protect her womb, she will be his support and cheerleader even when she hates his smelly socks. A woman can do all that, even after she knows that her man is shared.
Every passing day friends may tell her to leave, to walk away but she stays and no body understands why or how she does it. A woman’s heart can endure the cold of winter and the heat of the equator, it can be as bitter as her youth or as rich as the salt of years. But a woman’s heart can break. It can break under that toil of overcoming daily disappointment without any daily dose of genuine love. It can break like porcelain. And a broken woman is difficult to love.
A broken woman will be snide and bitter, with jokes that burn to the soul of her audience. She has lost faith in her worth and can only seek to destroy others through spite and gossip. A broken woman has no self respect and will remain other men’s number 2’s because even to herself she is not number one. She will appear fierce and confident but only has faith in superficial things like the appearance of her body and not the authenticity of her soul. A broken woman is difficult to love. Because she will only attract broken men.
So think before you remain in a relationship that breaks the very core of you. And if you choose to remain with the man who has betrayed you, let it be because of the good he is done and not because you choose to sweep his lies under the blanket cover of “ I am sorry” . Funny how misleading three words can be.. “I love you” too, might not be true.
Do not pick and choose what to believe, pick and choose when to leave.
Truth is a funny thing you know. Often we think we want everyone to be honest with us, tell us the truth ALL THE TIME, bare their souls every waking moment of their lives. And God forbid they leave out a detail or two, ALL HELL shall break lose and the warm feeling love gives you will turn into a burning feeling of bubbling magma rising from your toes up straight to your heart.
Lies. . . oh, the beginning of the end. Ever felt so angry you could feel your own heart pumping within its nest? You know. . like you could hear it beat; angrily pumping pure vile into your veins, your voice even trembled as your spoke, the right words came at the wrong time and the wrong ones just couldn’t stop rumbling out at that time? Pure poison. . Anger of that magnitude is pure poison. It poisons your heart, your head and your life.
So today I felt like I was around a situation that aroused lies. Women have a powerful 6th sense (no ladies, partial insanity when you leave 25 missed calls and 5 abusive texts doesn’t count when you feel insecure). I must admit, I have gone the whole 9 yards when it comes to insanity (but I’d rather call my case immaturity coupled with a severe case of insecurity). Ever since I managed to walk away from a situation that provoked only negativity when the word “Trust” was mentioned I spent a while being my own private eye.
Let me explain, to all the women out there who have ever snooped (and don’t pretend you all have never glanced or went the whole 19 yards and saved numbers of suspicious names like “Girl from Skylux” or “Florida” or “Big Ass”) whenever we went searching, we always found something! Often we become those “women” we bitch about even without realizing. And you know what. . . it all began with that ONE (or one too many) lies (and TRUTHS).
Anyway, two things I have observed is that a woman is not broken easily and that very rarely do relationships end over infidelity.
Infidelity is such a touchy subject. Whether emotionally or physically we may have delved into those quagmire of haves and have-nots and halves. Yes cheating sometimes can be so innocent we almost believe we are justified and it can be so betraying that the pain of leaving seams worse than staying with the stray (the partner that snuck their hand in the forbidden cookie jar). But many times, despite the infidelity that may be uncovered or strongly suspected we stay. Why?
Now, onto the woman’s strength – I am not going to preach like a civil rights leader trying to get some Act approved. No I will not. But a woman’s strength is something to write home about. A woman is nature’s reflection of God. She will satisfy her man in more ways than she knew how, she will protect her man like she will protect her womb, she will be his support and cheerleader even when she hates his smelly socks. A woman can do all that, even after she knows that her man is shared.
Every passing day friends may tell her to leave, to walk away but she stays and no body understands why or how she does it. A woman’s heart can endure the cold of winter and the heat of the equator, it can be as bitter as her youth or as rich as the salt of years. But a woman’s heart can break. It can break under that toil of overcoming daily disappointment without any daily dose of genuine love. It can break like porcelain. And a broken woman is difficult to love.
A broken woman will be snide and bitter, with jokes that burn to the soul of her audience. She has lost faith in her worth and can only seek to destroy others through spite and gossip. A broken woman has no self respect and will remain other men’s number 2’s because even to herself she is not number one. She will appear fierce and confident but only has faith in superficial things like the appearance of her body and not the authenticity of her soul. A broken woman is difficult to love. Because she will only attract broken men.
So think before you remain in a relationship that breaks the very core of you. And if you choose to remain with the man who has betrayed you, let it be because of the good he is done and not because you choose to sweep his lies under the blanket cover of “ I am sorry” . Funny how misleading three words can be.. “I love you” too, might not be true.
Do not pick and choose what to believe, pick and choose when to leave.
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